What will God say on Judgment Day?
If you are like me, you wonder what judgment day will be like. It is hard to believe we necessarily know what will happen, but there are point in the Bible that tell us what to do and how to act. The story of the adulterous woman about to get stoned is a good indicator or how things will work. I can only imagine how foolish we will look on judgment day.
This is how I think it might just go down…
Christians: Only those who profess faith in Christ can find salvation!
God: Your arguments are so bad only 31.1% of people are Christians. I checked Google to be sure I had my facts right, and again, I was right.
Christians: But that’s what the Bible says.
God: I wrote the Bible so you would be confused. Did you miss Jeremiah 8:8 and Isaiah 6:9-11? How about the Tower of Babel? Remember, you were not allowed to eat of the tree of knowledge, so I did not let you.
Christians: But Jesus.
God: Jesus said He came to divide and any house divided will fall. Go back to Isaiah 6:9-11, but pay attention to verse 11.
Christians: But, no. That’s not what we learned in Sunday school.
God: Did you read what James said in James 3:2?
Christians: No, I don’t really read the Bible. I just read the parts on the screen on Sunday.
God: That’s the problem. Just have faith. I got you.
Christians: I have faith.
God: You have faith in your own interpretation, but not in Jesus, or me. But don’t worry, I still love you.
Christians: (sad)
God: Why are you so sad? Did your pride get hurt because you didn’t understand what I was saying about fish, gold, silver, or flaming swords?
Christians: What are you talking about?
God: Job, I mean, silly blind people. You had to be blind or things would not work out the way they did. If you knew the rules, you would be culpable. Aren’t you glad you did not have any idea what was going on around you? Now you can have your cattle and family back.
Christians: We are Job?
God: You still missed the point.
Christians: I don’t want my family to go to hell.
God: Seriously? You still don’t get it?
God: Moses – shred these knuckleheads into a billion little pieces and put them into the rinse cycle. These stiff-necked people still can’t turn their heads and see the miracles.
Moses: Here we go again…
Jesus: No, no, no, I’ve got this. I’ll use the Word to divide everyone. When they read the Bible they will become convinced they are right. Then they will become overconfident and assert all sorts of things in my name. This means the people they accuse will gain riches. I like this part, I call it a beatitude. Then the tables will turn and the fools will provide wealth to the others while the ones who think they have it right will argue all day long and become just as dirty as the Pharisees.
God: Ok, just leave me out of it.
Christians: (blind)
God: All things are good.
Jesus: Here are the sheep. I did not lose a single one.
Elders: Fall face first realizing how awful they would look if they did not have the glory of God in their midst.
Laughter ensues after the shock from the shame subsides! That’s what will happen when we ask: What will God say on Judgment Day?
